dreams

I still have recurring dreams but i won't say it's a nightmare because my mom is in it. It always goes like this: I would hug her when I arrive and the setting is always in our old house in Cabanatuan or in the hospital. We'd talk like we've always been and then right before I hug her again, everything would start to fade. Next thing I know, I'm awake. Hello real world. Goodbye dreamland. My heart flutters every time I wake up because it all seemed so real, so tangible, so right there. Sometimes I know that I'm dreaming and when I do, I would control the flow of the dream but then, every time I do that, I always end up waking sooner than expected. So I learned not to control, to just let it flow and do it's own real thing because the only place I get to see my mom again is in my dreamworld which is of course, the product of my subconscious.

During these instances, I'd like to think that dreams are better than reality, but as J.K. Rowling had put it: "...it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget how to live." 

"Remember that, Juddith."